narrator: Lily's Boat, Miaoustok River [1a] L: Lily stands at the wheel, ready to navigate Althar's deadly Miaoustok River. L: Her determination: limitless. L: Her cargo: Jupet the waif. [1b1] J: The waif! [1b2] L: Her cargo: Jupet the scamp. L: Only two hours stand between her and her destination. Will she and her cargo survive? [1b3] J: Two hours?! [1b2] L: Yeah, traffic's not too bad, so I'd say about two hours. Well, two hours for Upper Althar. [1c1] J: It's way too hot for a two hour boat ride! [1c2] L: We could go to lower Althar instead. Wanna? [1c4] J: How long will that take? [1c2] L: Two hours. [1c3] J: Aw, man! Can't we take the subway or something? [1d2] L: No can do, kiddo. Most of TAL's... everything is inactive. L: She was lucky enough to get you and what little we do have as far as she did. [1d1] J: Rats. J: I wish we didn't have to be here, in... in... [1e1] L: Jupet hesitates as they search for the right combination of words. If they fail, Lily will never know the true extent of their misery. [1e2] J: ...in Owel's Oven: Where the Sun Literally Hates You. [1e3] L: It's not that bad! [1e4] J: I miss home. [1e1] L: This is our new home. And it's pretty good. [2a1] J: I miss our old home. This one is way too hot. I'm turning into a mummy! [2a2] L: That's partly your fault. [2a3] J: What?! How is any of that my fault? [2a2] L: I offered to shave you! We could have been twins, we would both look cool, and we would both be cool. That's twice the cool. [2b1] J: *cough, cough* [2b2] J: I'm dying, Lily... [2b3] L: It's a little late for that! L: Go downstairs and turn the AC on. I installed it right before we left because I knew you'd stay with that fool hair style. [2b4] J: I believe you mean... below deck. [2c4] L: I mean downstairs. [2c1] J: I'll just stay up here. [2c4] L: And complain? [2c2] J: Nah, I'm over it already. L: Hah! [2c3] J: What do you do in Althar, anyway? Is TAL even still running anything? [2d1] L: Yes. Kinda. J: Kinda? L: She's the one that turned the subway station into the house it is today, and she's in charge of the reclamation efforts. [2d2] J: ... L: Don't be so sad. I still have a pretty good gig. [2d3] J: Monster hunting?! L: No. We wouldn't have anywhere to put them! [2e1] L: I get to read books. [2e2] J: What kind? [2e1] L: Mostly old religious ones. [2e2] J: Do- [2e3] L: And no, they don't have pictures. L: Well, they do, but they're more like diagrams. [2e6] J: "How to be bored. See Figure 1." [3a1] L: "How to be thrown overboard. See Figure 2." J: Nooooo! J: You wouldn't! [3a2] L: I would. It'd be viewed as an act of mercy. [3a3] L: "Concerned parent protects kid from deadly Althar heat with genius plan: water." [3a4] J: "Authorities are investigating known-villain Lily after botched murder plan is uncovered." [3b1] L: Water never killed anyone! [3b2] J: That's so not true. [3b3] L: It so is. [3b2] J: No one has drowned in water ever. [3b3] L: Sure they have. But that's them killing themselves with water. Not the water's doing. [3c3] J: An evil water sprite? L: The keyword there is sprite. It means it's not water. [3c1] J: I… uh. [3c2] J: Hmm. [3c3] L: Cat got your tongue? [3c1] J: … J: I just don't see why-- [3c4] J: --LILY STOP THE BOAT! [3d1] L: What's wrong?! [3d2] J: I'm so hungry! [3d3] L: Oh come on. You can't wait until we get to Althar? [3d5] J: I don't think I have two hours. I'm fading fast. I won't make it. [3d4] L: Uh-huh. [3e1] J: I am about to die of starved. J: And when I die, it'll be in the newspaper. "Authorities investigating known-villain-" [3e2] L: "Jupet, also known as the lone ham." [3e3] J: What?! L: Drop the anchor and we'll get something. [3e4] J: All right! [3f1] L: But we gotta get it to go. TAL's expecting us, and I haven't told her you're back. [3f4] J: Huh? Then how can she be expecting us? That doesn't make sense. [3f5] L: She's been expecting you since you left, kid. We both have. --------- narrator: Everything & More Bagels [4a2] L: They were all out of croissants, so I got you a bagel instead. [4a1] J: A bagel? [4a2] L: It's the same thing. [4b1] J: There's no way you're going to heaven after that lie. [4b2] L: Hah! Just eat it. They really are out of croissants. [4b3] J: What is this stuff? [4b4] L: That, dear Jupet, is the "everything and more" topping. It alone is responsible for the international fame Everything & More Bagels enjoys today. [4b5] J: I've never heard of this place. L: Yeah, neither have I. But just try it. [4c1] J: … [4c2] J: This is... this is incredible! L: It's that good? J: This is amazing! L: It does claim to be everything you could ever want. J: Did you get one? L: Nah. I got a breakfast croissant. [4d1] J: What?! You said they were out! [4d2] L: I took the last one. [4d3] J: I don't know how to handle this betrayal. Everything I thought I knew is a lie. [4e1] J: I don't think I can live in a world like this. [4e2] L: I guess that means... you won't be wanting a bite of my croissant. [4e3] J: I changed my mind. This world's pretty okay. L: That's what I thought. [5a1] [5a2] J: ... L: That bad? J: ... J: It's really good. J: ... L: That doesn't look like the face of someone who thinks it's really good. [5a3] J: I'm sorry I couldn't help you and TAL. I really wanted to, and I thought if I- L: Jupet. [5a4] J: Huh? L: Nothing was your fault. [5b1] J: But I didn't help at all! [5b2] L: So? [5b3] J: What? [5b4] L: No one ever said you needed to. And you didn't make anything worse, so there's nothing you need to be sorry for. J: ... L: Still feel bad? [5b1] J: Yeah. [5b2] L: Well, maybe you can help us get back home. [5c2] J: Really? [5c1] L: Dunno. TAL might have something you can do. [5c3] L: Actually, I know what she can do. [5c2] J: What? [5c4] L: Make you a new eyeball. Can you even see straight? [5c5] J: Define... "straight". [5c6] L: That's what I thought. [5d1] J: Don't I need these? [5d2] L: Maybe? I don't know. TAL took pretty good care of you. [5d1] J: How long will it take? [5d3] L: It only took her a couple months for my legs. But eyeballs are kinda complicated when compared to those, so... J: Hmm. [5d4] L: Oh shit! J: What? [5e1] L: I forgot we needed to get this to go. We're gonna be late! J: Back to the boat! ------ narrator: Upper Althar [6a1] L: Well hum-dee-dum. TAL's not here. J: Where'd she go? L: Probably checking the other docks for us. We're gonna have to stay put and wait for her to come back around. J: Why can't she check them all? [6b1] L: She can. One at a time. [6b2] J: Wait, so she's just one? What happened? [6b3] L: I told you. Most of her everything is inactive. [6b4] J: I thought you meant just her subways and stuff! [6b5] L: That wouldn't be everything! [6c1] J: I didn't know everything meant everything! [6c2] L: It's in the name! [6c1] J: Well, you could have been clearer. [6c2] L: You could have told me you thought a term that encompasses everything meant only one specific field. J: … [6c3] J: Was it because she left Teslic Yard? [6c4] L: Kinda. J: Is that a yes? L: No, it's a kinda. We had to leave for the same reason she had to deactivate everything. [6c3] J: Oh. J: Is that why no one knew I was awake? L: Yep. I actually thought you were a burglar at first. A cat burglar. [6c6] J: Ugh. [6d1] L: We've actually had a few break-ins in the past. [6d2] J: Did they steal anything? [6d3] L: Nah. They were more like... archaeologists. Kept thinking they'd just discovered some long-forgotten tomb. [6d2] J: ... J: Wait, but… why did we have to leave? [6d4] L: Dunno. J: Come on. [6d3] L: ... L: TAL said it was getting worse. J: ... [6e1] L: It was fine at first, so I came here on my own trying to find a reputable priest since I didn't really know anything about that stuff, and neither did TAL. L: She's still not really, uh, knowledgeable about it. L: Anyway, I had to find a priest that knew what they were doing, and that also made house calls, and that also could be sworn to secrecy. J: How long did that take? L: A real long time. A year, I think? [7a1] L: When I finally found someone that fit all the requirements, I took them to the subway and found that TAL was there with you and a bunch of our stuff. L: Allegedly the... things spread and got so destructive that TAL couldn't keep you safe there any longer. L: About a month after that, she had to deactivate everything but a few puppets, which she sent up here. J: It spread that much?! L: Yep. She couldn't stay there anymore. They were actually starting to mess with her machinery. [7b1] J: Wow. Who's watching over the place while we're gone? [7b2] L: Nobody. J: … [7b1] J: How close are you and TAL to getting us back home? [7b2] L: I have no clue. But we'll keep at it until something happens. [7b4] J: … [7b3] J: Lily... [7b4] L: Hm? [7b3] J: How long was- L: Several years? I think. I didn't count. [7c1] J: ... J: But it felt like I was just out for a second! L: Time flies when you're dead, I guess. I wouldn't know. J: … [7c1] J: I'm sorry, Lily! L: It's all right. [7d1] J: No, it's not all right! I'm sorry I left! J: I'm sorry! J: You must have been so sad! You and TAL! I'm sorry! J: I'm sorry! I just wanted to help! J: But I just made it worse. I'm sorry! [7d2] J: I'm so sorry. J: I'm so sorry! J: I shouldn't have been so stupid! I could have stayed here and helped, but I didn't! I'm sorry! J: I must have worried you so much. I'm sorry. J: ... [7d3] J: And now I made you sad again! I'm sorry! L: I'm just happy you're back. [7e1] J: I'm sorry! J: All I did was make everyone sad. L: I wasn't sad at first. L: But when several months went by and you weren't awake… L: I mean, it only took him a month. [8a1] L: ... L: I only started to worry after a couple years rolled by. L: I didn't know what to do, then, so I kept busy. L: ... L: I didn't like being home, because... L: ...because, I didn't want to have to think about you. L: I thought you really did die. [8b1] L: But you're back, and it's okay. L: You can dry your tears, kiddo. It's okay. J: I'm sorry. [8c1] ?: Excuse me. J: … J: Hi. ?: Can you tell me where I could find Jupet? J: ... L: Hey, TAL. [8d1] J: ...TAL!? [8d2] ?: Correct! [8d1] J: You look so weird! [8d3] T: Just trying to fit in. It wasn't going well, so I need to reconfigure this disguise. J: It looks fine to me. You look like everyone else! T: Only superficially. I chose a poor species to take after. Too many questions. I believe the alligator is the best. L: I told you it wouldn't work! [8d2] T: I wanted to experience it for myself. [8d4] T: ... J: What's wrong? [8d3] T: Would you like a new eyeball? [8d5] L: Hah!