narrator: Lily's Boat, Miaoustok River
[1a]
L: Lily stands at the wheel, ready to navigate Althar's deadly Miaoustok River.
L: Her determination: limitless.
L: Her cargo: Jupet the waif.
[1b1]
J: The waif!
[1b2]
L: Her cargo: Jupet the scamp.
L: Only two hours stand between her and her destination. Will she and her cargo survive?
[1b3]
J: Two hours?!
[1b2]
L: Yeah, traffic's not too bad, so I'd say about two hours. Well, two hours for Upper Althar.
[1c1]
J: It's way too hot for a two hour boat ride!
[1c2]
L: We could go to lower Althar instead. Wanna?
[1c4]
J: How long will that take?
[1c2]
L: Two hours.
[1c3]
J: Aw, man! Can't we take the subway or something?
[1d2]
L: No can do, kiddo. Most of TAL's... everything is inactive.
L: She was lucky enough to get you and what little we do have as far as she did.
[1d1]
J: Rats.
J: I wish we didn't have to be here, in... in...
[1e1]
L: Jupet hesitates as they search for the right combination of words. If they fail, Lily will never know the true extent of their misery.
[1e2]
J: ...in Owel's Oven: Where the Sun Literally Hates You.
[1e3]
L: It's not that bad!
[1e4]
J: I miss home.
[1e1]
L: This is our new home. And it's pretty good.
[2a1]
J: I miss our old home. This one is way too hot. I'm turning into a mummy!
[2a2]
L: That's partly your fault.
[2a3]
J: What?! How is any of that my fault?
[2a2]
L: I offered to shave you! We could have been twins, we would both look cool, and we would both be cool. That's twice the cool.
[2b1]
J: *cough, cough*
[2b2]
J: I'm dying, Lily...
[2b3]
L: It's a little late for that!
L: Go downstairs and turn the AC on. I installed it right before we left because I knew you'd stay with that fool hair style.
[2b4]
J: I believe you mean... below deck.
[2c4]
L: I mean downstairs.
[2c1]
J: I'll just stay up here.
[2c4]
L: And complain?
[2c2]
J: Nah, I'm over it already.
L: Hah!
[2c3]
J: What do you do in Althar, anyway? Is TAL even still running anything?
[2d1]
L: Yes. Kinda.
J: Kinda?
L: She's the one that turned the subway station into the house it is today, and she's in charge of the reclamation efforts.
[2d2]
J: ...
L: Don't be so sad. I still have a pretty good gig.
[2d3]
J: Monster hunting?!
L: No. We wouldn't have anywhere to put them!
[2e1]
L: I get to read books.
[2e2]
J: What kind?
[2e1]
L: Mostly old religious ones.
[2e2]
J: Do-
[2e3]
L: And no, they don't have pictures.
L: Well, they do, but they're more like diagrams.
[2e6]
J: "How to be bored. See Figure 1."
[3a1]
L: "How to be thrown overboard. See Figure 2."
J: Nooooo!
J: You wouldn't!
[3a2]
L: I would. It'd be viewed as an act of mercy.
[3a3]
L: "Concerned parent protects kid from deadly Althar heat with genius plan: water."
[3a4]
J: "Authorities are investigating known-villain Lily after botched murder plan is uncovered."
[3b1]
L: Water never killed anyone!
[3b2]
J: That's so not true.
[3b3]
L: It so is.
[3b2]
J: No one has drowned in water ever.
[3b3]
L: Sure they have. But that's them killing themselves with water. Not the water's doing.
[3c3]
J: An evil water sprite?
L: The keyword there is sprite. It means it's not water.
[3c1]
J: I… uh.
[3c2]
J: Hmm.
[3c3]
L: Cat got your tongue?
[3c1]
J: …
J: I just don't see why--
[3c4]
J: --LILY STOP THE BOAT!
[3d1]
L: What's wrong?!
[3d2]
J: I'm so hungry!
[3d3]
L: Oh come on. You can't wait until we get to Althar?
[3d5]
J: I don't think I have two hours. I'm fading fast. I won't make it.
[3d4]
L: Uh-huh.
[3e1]
J: I am about to die of starved.
J: And when I die, it'll be in the newspaper. "Authorities investigating known-villain-"
[3e2]
L: "Jupet, also known as the lone ham."
[3e3]
J: What?!
L: Drop the anchor and we'll get something.
[3e4]
J: All right!
[3f1]
L: But we gotta get it to go. TAL's expecting us, and I haven't told her you're back.
[3f4]
J: Huh? Then how can she be expecting us? That doesn't make sense.
[3f5]
L: She's been expecting you since you left, kid. We both have.
---------
narrator: Everything & More Bagels
[4a2]
L: They were all out of croissants, so I got you a bagel instead.
[4a1]
J: A bagel?
[4a2]
L: It's the same thing.
[4b1]
J: There's no way you're going to heaven after that lie.
[4b2]
L: Hah! Just eat it. They really are out of croissants.
[4b3]
J: What is this stuff?
[4b4]
L: That, dear Jupet, is the "everything and more" topping. It alone is responsible for the international fame Everything & More Bagels enjoys today.
[4b5]
J: I've never heard of this place.
L: Yeah, neither have I. But just try it.
[4c1]
J: …
[4c2]
J: This is... this is incredible!
L: It's that good?
J: This is amazing!
L: It does claim to be everything you could ever want.
J: Did you get one?
L: Nah. I got a breakfast croissant.
[4d1]
J: What?! You said they were out!
[4d2]
L: I took the last one.
[4d3]
J: I don't know how to handle this betrayal. Everything I thought I knew is a lie.
[4e1]
J: I don't think I can live in a world like this.
[4e2]
L: I guess that means... you won't be wanting a bite of my croissant.
[4e3]
J: I changed my mind. This world's pretty okay.
L: That's what I thought.
[5a1]
[5a2]
J: ...
L: That bad?
J: ...
J: It's really good.
J: ...
L: That doesn't look like the face of someone who thinks it's really good.
[5a3]
J: I'm sorry I couldn't help you and TAL. I really wanted to, and I thought if I-
L: Jupet.
[5a4]
J: Huh?
L: Nothing was your fault.
[5b1]
J: But I didn't help at all!
[5b2]
L: So?
[5b3]
J: What?
[5b4]
L: No one ever said you needed to. And you didn't make anything worse, so there's nothing you need to be sorry for.
J: ...
L: Still feel bad?
[5b1]
J: Yeah.
[5b2]
L: Well, maybe you can help us get back home.
[5c2]
J: Really?
[5c1]
L: Dunno. TAL might have something you can do.
[5c3]
L: Actually, I know what she can do.
[5c2]
J: What?
[5c4]
L: Make you a new eyeball. Can you even see straight?
[5c5]
J: Define... "straight".
[5c6]
L: That's what I thought.
[5d1]
J: Don't I need these?
[5d2]
L: Maybe? I don't know. TAL took pretty good care of you.
[5d1]
J: How long will it take?
[5d3]
L: It only took her a couple months for my legs. But eyeballs are kinda complicated when compared to those, so...
J: Hmm.
[5d4]
L: Oh shit!
J: What?
[5e1]
L: I forgot we needed to get this to go. We're gonna be late!
J: Back to the boat!
------
narrator: Upper Althar
[6a1]
L: Well hum-dee-dum. TAL's not here.
J: Where'd she go?
L: Probably checking the other docks for us. We're gonna have to stay put and wait for her to come back around.
J: Why can't she check them all?
[6b1]
L: She can. One at a time.
[6b2]
J: Wait, so she's just one? What happened?
[6b3]
L: I told you. Most of her everything is inactive.
[6b4]
J: I thought you meant just her subways and stuff!
[6b5]
L: That wouldn't be everything!
[6c1]
J: I didn't know everything meant everything!
[6c2]
L: It's in the name!
[6c1]
J: Well, you could have been clearer.
[6c2]
L: You could have told me you thought a term that encompasses everything meant only one specific field.
J: …
[6c3]
J: Was it because she left Teslic Yard?
[6c4]
L: Kinda.
J: Is that a yes?
L: No, it's a kinda. We had to leave for the same reason she had to deactivate everything.
[6c3]
J: Oh.
J: Is that why no one knew I was awake?
L: Yep. I actually thought you were a burglar at first. A cat burglar.
[6c6]
J: Ugh.
[6d1]
L: We've actually had a few break-ins in the past.
[6d2]
J: Did they steal anything?
[6d3]
L: Nah. They were more like... archaeologists. Kept thinking they'd just discovered some long-forgotten tomb.
[6d2]
J: ...
J: Wait, but… why did we have to leave?
[6d4]
L: Dunno.
J: Come on.
[6d3]
L: ...
L: TAL said it was getting worse.
J: ...
[6e1]
L: It was fine at first, so I came here on my own trying to find a reputable priest since I didn't really know anything about that stuff, and neither did TAL.
L: She's still not really, uh, knowledgeable about it.
L: Anyway, I had to find a priest that knew what they were doing, and that also made house calls, and that also could be sworn to secrecy.
J: How long did that take?
L: A real long time. A year, I think?
[7a1]
L: When I finally found someone that fit all the requirements, I took them to the subway and found that TAL was there with you and a bunch of our stuff.
L: Allegedly the... things spread and got so destructive that TAL couldn't keep you safe there any longer.
L: About a month after that, she had to deactivate everything but a few puppets, which she sent up here.
J: It spread that much?!
L: Yep. She couldn't stay there anymore. They were actually starting to mess with her machinery.
[7b1]
J: Wow. Who's watching over the place while we're gone?
[7b2]
L: Nobody.
J: …
[7b1]
J: How close are you and TAL to getting us back home?
[7b2]
L: I have no clue. But we'll keep at it until something happens.
[7b4]
J: …
[7b3]
J: Lily...
[7b4]
L: Hm?
[7b3]
J: How long was-
L: Several years? I think. I didn't count.
[7c1]
J: ...
J: But it felt like I was just out for a second!
L: Time flies when you're dead, I guess. I wouldn't know.
J: …
[7c1]
J: I'm sorry, Lily!
L: It's all right.
[7d1]
J: No, it's not all right! I'm sorry I left!
J: I'm sorry!
J: You must have been so sad! You and TAL! I'm sorry!
J: I'm sorry! I just wanted to help!
J: But I just made it worse. I'm sorry!
[7d2]
J: I'm so sorry.
J: I'm so sorry!
J: I shouldn't have been so stupid! I could have stayed here and helped, but I didn't! I'm sorry!
J: I must have worried you so much. I'm sorry.
J: ...
[7d3]
J: And now I made you sad again! I'm sorry!
L: I'm just happy you're back.
[7e1]
J: I'm sorry!
J: All I did was make everyone sad.
L: I wasn't sad at first.
L: But when several months went by and you weren't awake…
L: I mean, it only took him a month.
[8a1]
L: ...
L: I only started to worry after a couple years rolled by.
L: I didn't know what to do, then, so I kept busy.
L: ...
L: I didn't like being home, because...
L: ...because, I didn't want to have to think about you.
L: I thought you really did die.
[8b1]
L: But you're back, and it's okay.
L: You can dry your tears, kiddo. It's okay.
J: I'm sorry.
[8c1]
?: Excuse me.
J: …
J: Hi.
?: Can you tell me where I could find Jupet?
J: ...
L: Hey, TAL.
[8d1]
J: ...TAL!?
[8d2]
?: Correct!
[8d1]
J: You look so weird!
[8d3]
T: Just trying to fit in. It wasn't going well, so I need to reconfigure this disguise.
J: It looks fine to me. You look like everyone else!
T: Only superficially. I chose a poor species to take after. Too many questions. I believe the alligator is the best.
L: I told you it wouldn't work!
[8d2]
T: I wanted to experience it for myself.
[8d4]
T: ...
J: What's wrong?
[8d3]
T: Would you like a new eyeball?
[8d5]
L: Hah!